17/12/18: My Deal, My Precious and A New Kind of Workout

Intro

Week 18. Sorry I didn't upload last week, I was swamped with Uni deadlines but I'm back now and hopefully you'll enjoy this one.

Brexit

The actor Andy Serkis, best known for his motion capture portrayal of Caesar the chimp in Planet of the Apes and Gollum in Lord of the Rings, has aped Prime Minister Theresa May in hilarious fashion.

Reprising his role as the infamous corrupted hobbit, Serkis portrays the PM in an argument with herself over the Brexit deal, and the video has since gained viral fame.

This comes after a confidence vote against Mrs May in Parliament earlier this week.

Technology

Google's CEO testified in Congress this week, but many are calling it an embarrassment.

Sundar Pichai was asked to speak about his company's data collecting policies and bias but when questioned by the panel, the congressmen failed to ask anything of import, especially considering the issues regarding data protection that arose in the past 2 years.

Some of the questions included 'how does search work' and 'why does searching the word "idiot" turn up results for Donald Trump'. This is the fourth hearing where Congress has been deemed to fail to hold big tech companies to account.
(Source: Inc)


More Technology



A hi-tech Russian 'robot' has been exposed as a man in a costume.

Boris the robot, shown on TV as an example of the country's technological prowess, was seen dancing and speaking in a metallic voice at a technology forum for schoolchildren. However, backstage footage showed a clear gap between Boris' head and shoulders.

Bloggers also found the Robot Show's website where an identical suit can be purchased. The footage was shown on state TV, but as i was originally intended for children, the broadcasters have since been met with ridicule.
(Source: Sky News)


Christmas



A number of people have been arrested in New York, all of them dressed as Santa Clause.

SantaCon is an annual pub-crawl held in cities across the world, where patrons dress as St Nick and various other Christmas characters. Originally, it was a lighthearted Christmas celebration but since then, it has been denounced by it's creators for what it has become.

Of the 14 people, two were taken in for aggravated assault while another was arrested for sexual assault, while some required hospital treatment.
(Source: New York Post, NJ)


Fitness



A man in Germany has been freed from a rather weighty predicament after one of his appendages 'got stuck' in a weight while he was working out at the gym.

Firefighters reportedly removed the lifting equipment from his appendage with a grinder and vibrating saw, after 3 hours of work. The fire department later shared an image of the shattered disc on social media and public sarcasm ensued. 

Questions included 'where was his spotter' and 'is this the male version of kegels?'. It's safe to say that the 'weightlifter' should stick to core workouts form now on.
(Source: Huffington Post)

03/12/18: Snakes That May or May Not be on a Plane and Holy Cow They're Big

Intro

Week 16. I went to a Vegan Christmas Markets this week for an interview. It was pretty interesting to see what was going on plus all the food looked really nice. Still, it's the general Christmas Markets next weekend so I think I'm looking forward to that quite a bit.

Snakes?

A boa constrictor is currently on the loose in Lincolnshire. The snake was reported missing from a house in Boston, on Wednesday last week. 

The police have warned civilians not to approach the reptile, and have stated that it is likely to find somewhere warm such as a garden shed, to make it's home. 

They have also asked if one is to come across the creature, it should be reported immediately by calling 999. Although the snake is not venomous, it will attack with its teeth and attempt to constrict it's target.

(Source: The Guardian)

Science

It was already known that strangely, wombat's... leavings are cube shaped, but it was never known why. That is until now.

Earlier this year, researcher Patricia Yang took it upon herself to find out why. when examining wombat innards, Yang and her team noticed two distinct grooves and has suggested this is the cause of the cubic shape.

Many have suggested its shape is in order to mark territory without the risk of it rolling away but the new research has been quoted as the "first piece of good biological, physiological proof".

(Source: National Geographic)


Crime...



A teenager was suspended from school after throwing a Haribo gummy-bear at her deputy head teacher.

13 year old Katie Freeman launched the tasty treat at her teacher during a Children in Need Day where students were allowed to throw wet sponges at staff. The school then placed Katie into isolation for two days before excluding her from lessons.

The School has also banned Katie from going on the ski trip, offering a refund for the base price but not for the hundreds worth of ski gear that her family invested in. It might be a tad of an overreaction considering kids were already paying to throw stuff.
(Source: The Sun)



There's a Lot of Animal News this Week



Cows are pretty beefy animals, if you pardon the pun. But two super steers have arisen this week and they are moosive. (P.S. this will be an exercise to see how many cow puns i can fit in one small stretch of writing).

The image you see above is of a cow known as knickers, and he lives on a farm in western Australia. He is a whopping 6ft 4in tall (almost twice the size of the average member of his herd) and apparent is too big to be processed for meat. When photos of the Goliath of cows surfaced of the internet, users were awed.

However that awe was short-lived. As soon as news surfaced of the behemoth bovine, a second a appeared. Dozer, who stands an inch taller than Knickers, is of the same breed and circumstances as his Australian cousin but lives on an animal sanctuary in Canada.

His owner decided to measure this Lord of the Cows in response to news of Knickers and found fame in his size. Maybe the pair are actually extra creatures in the upcoming Godzilla moovie, but that remains to be seen. All I can say is I hope they keep living it large.
(Source: Evening Standard)


Politics



'It's real me'. These were the word the Nigerian President spoke to the press today after claims that he had died and been replaced by an impostor.

President Muhammadu Buhari broke his silence on Sunday to deny the claims after news had arisen of his ill health. Many believe that he has in fact died and that his position has been taken over by a Sudanese lookalike who goes by the name Jubril.

The President rebuked these claims saying: "A lot of people hoped that I died during my ill health" and he called the claims "ignorant and irreligious".
(Source: The Telegraph)

26/11/18: Setting Things Straight and It's a Little Early for Gift Giving Isn't it?

Intro

Week 15. It seems the festive season has begun. It's just under a month until Christmas now, and to mark the start of yule time, I went to the light switch on. It was pretty fun, I met Santa. 

Culture

The leaning tower of Pisa isn't leaning as much as it used to. 

Over the past 20 years, engineers have been trying straighten the iconic structure, and recently they have stated that the tower has recovered 4 centimetres of tilt and that it's structural health is better than it was.

The tower was opened back up to the public in 2001 after being closed for a decade so that engineers could reduce it's slant. The workers managed to recover a substantial 17 inches of tilt during that time, using thousands of lead counterweights and extracting soil from the base of the tower.

It seems all those photos of people pushing the tower have finally paid off.

(Source: USA Today)

Christmas things?

A shopping centre in the Isle of Man has sparked some controversy this week after people saw their Christmas display for the first time.

The display at Tynwald Mills mall shows two polar bears getting particularly "cozy", much to the shock or amusement of many shoppers. A number of people took to twitter, tweeting their bemusement at seeing the gentle giants and noting how the pair looked... stylised.

The centre has since apologized and thanked shoppers for 'getting a little too much into Christmas" and said that the "interactive display" has since been tweaked.

I suppose it's going to get colder so it's one way to keep warm.

(Source: Mirror Online)


TV



One of Netflix's new original shows has caused some legal conflict recently with a pretty obscure claimant.

The Satanic Temple attempted to sue Netflix and Warner Bros after they included footage of a statue depicting Baphomet, in the new Chilling Adventures Of Sabrina. However, the two groups have since reached an amicable settlement, which means that every episode must now cite the statue's 'unique characteristics' in the credits.

Although, during the lawsuit, the Satanic Temple stated that they had received hate-mail from angry fans, accusing the group of trying to ruin the show, and they asked that people not put their entertainment above religious freedom.
(Source: Hollywood Reporter)


Crime



A New Orleans man has been arrested after he made a bomb threat, but it seems as though that may not have been his intent.

Apparently, Arthur Posey walked into Willie's Chicken Shack and asked what time the restaurant was to close. He then said "Y'all about to close up right now because I'm about to get a bomb and blow this place up".

That seems pretty explicit, however Mr Posey claims that by 'this place' he meant the toilet as he really needed to go... I imagine the employees did too after that.
(Source: Huffpost)



More Crime



A British academic has been pardoned by the United Arab Emirates after he was sentenced to life in prison for spying.

Matthew Hedges has said he was there to research the country's security strategies for his  PhD and has completely denied spying. He was pardoned as part of the country's National Day anniversary, but a spokesman said he was "100% a secret service operative."

He was apparently forced to sign a confession stating that he worked for MI6, without a lawyer present. the document was also in Arabic, which Mr Hedges cannot read. He is now en route to the British embassy in the country.
(Source: BBC News)

19/11/18: Some Truly Fantastic Beasts and No More Cameos

Intro

Week 14. So, strangely this week I met a famous person. The poet Laureate was at my Uni, and somehow I wound up managing to get an interview.

Film

I went to the midnight showing of Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes Of Grindelwald on Thursday, and I have to say, it was brilliant.

Not many films make me feel things, but this one really strikes a chord. The reason is down to Johnny Depp' portrayal of the eponymous villain, and while he is excessively powerful, Grindelwald is made terrifying because of his words.

Where Voldemort was undeniably a figure of evil and united everyone to fight against him, Grindelwald makes things personal. Throughout the film, he seduces almost everyone he meets, appealing to their desires, and as a result, he tears people apart.

The best comparison for him I can think of is David Tennant's Kilgrave, from Marvel's Jessica Jones. He had the power to literally brainwash people and for me that's what makes a truly horrifying villain: someone who change the way you think, without you being able to stop them.

Culture

It was a sad day for Marvel fans last Monday, as news arose of the death of legendary comic creator, Stan Lee.

Earlier this year, Lee revealed to the public that he had been fighting a battle with pneumonia and in February, he was rushed to hospital after his condition apparently worsened.

Lee was universally loved for his work, from the creation of characters like Spider-Man and The Avengers to his small cameos in most Marvel films to date, and social media has been flooded with tributes to the writer.

(Source: Wikipedia)


Lifestyle



Now for a story that has gone viral. A couple got engaged this week in the most Geordie way possible: the groom-to-be presented the ring in a Greggs Festive Bake.

Apparently, Tony Brown got down on one knee and popped the question to partner Rebecca, but the only thing he had on hand was the bake 'in case he got peckish'. According to him, he had been trying to work out how to propose for a few years by this point and the moment just felt right.

Afterwards, the pair and their two children then decided to celebrate in a fitting way: they got more food from Greggs.
(Source: Metro)


Legal Things

Donald's back at it again (sadly without any white Vans). CNN and Trump have been in legal battle after the President and Jim Acosta had a fiery exchange at a press conference.

When Mr Acosta, who works for CNN, questioned the Commander in Chief about the issue of a caravan of immigrants from travelling from South America, the President attempts to shut him down. A female intern attempted to take the Microphone from the reporter and Acosta can be heard saying 'Pardon me, Ma'am'. The White House alleged that he accosted (budum-tish) her, but footage shows this was not the case and he himself said that it is an outright lie.

Afterwards, Mr Acosta's 'hard pass' (a press pass for reporting in the White House) was revoked, and CNN sued the White House. The Judge who heard the case temporarily restored the licence, but the battle between Acosta and the POTUS is far from over.

Just today, a letter was sent from the White House saying that he will 'hold his credentials until the Judge's 14 day order is ended'. 

Do you think the President is right to hold Acosta to account or is this the enemy of free speech?
(Source: ABC)


Brexit



While this is rather terrifying, it's quite funny. While before, the country was wondering whether or not Brexit was a good idea, now many more people are sure: Theresa May's cabinet have buggered off to a man.

A little indecent and maybe not accurate, but I'm not far off. Over the course of 6 days a total of 8 MP's have resigned, 7 of them being in the same 8 hour stretch. The most important however is Dominic Raab. For those that don't know, he was the Brexit secretary, but said he cannot i good conscience support it.

By saying this, he has basically said he doesn't want to pull the trigger that may very well kill the country. If the man in charge of Brexit is saying that, then the public should start to ask some serious questions as to where things went wrong.
(Source: Sky News)

12/11/18: The Kingsman's Gambit and Money, Money, Money, Must be Funny

Intro

Week 13. So my first week back at uni's been quite good, but the two assignments that were due on for Monday weren't very fun. Still, I almost met Tomska, so that was pretty interesting.

Film

Director Matthew Vaughn has already started work on Kingsman 3, but much to the sadness of everyone involved, Taron Egerton's character Eggsy won't be making an appearance.

In an interview with Yahoo news, the actor said "It doesn't mean I wont be in Kingsman ever again. We're still very much in business together. It's just that his next journey in that universe doesn't involve me".

While Egerton is arguably the face of the franchise, with his cheeky cockney charms, it will be interesting to see if it can hold it's own without him.

(Source: Den of Geek)

Crime

A woman has been arrested and clapped with the UK's first explained wealth order.

The woman, Zamira Hajiyev, faces extradition after she spent £16 million in Harrods. This comes a month after a failed attempt to appeal an order to reveal how she was able to purchase her £11.5 million home in Knightsbridge, London.

She is also the wife of Jahangir Hajiyev, the former chairman of the International Bank of Azerbaijan. He was convicted in 2016 of embezzling money from the bank, and now it appears his wife has followed in his footsteps.

Still £16 million? It begs the question what did she spend all that money on, a diamond made of solidified virgin's tears? A pet panther? Black ops 4 micro-transactions? They're all about the same value.

(Source: The Guardian)

Lifestyle



A 69 year old man from the Netherlands has sued in order to legally change his age to around 49.

Emile Ratelband is a Dutch entrepreneur and media personality and his hoping to change his date of birth after doctors told him that he technically has the body of someone 20 years younger. He has argued that if transgender people are able to change their gender, then he should be allowed to change his age.

Mr Ratelband has also said that a success here would greatly improve his quality of life, saying he would be able to take on more work, buy a new house and be in a 'luxurious position on Tinder'.

The case is expected to give a ruling in 4 weeks.
(Source: Sky News, BoingBoing)


Science



Aliens! At least that's what researchers at Harvard University have suggested about the object that flew past the sun last year

Oumuamua is an elongated reddish brown object from outside our solar system and was picked up by a telescope in Hawaii. The researchers suggested that it could be 'a fully operational probe sent intentionally to Earth vicinity by an alien civilization' due to it's unusually high speed and irregular trajectory.

However, various astronomers have challenged the claim, arguing that while it is irregular, it still exhibits the qualities of other comets and the study was based on numbers with large uncertainties.

In short, more data is needed but the prospect is intriguing to say the least.
(Source: Sky News)


Crime



Police in Dubai will soon be airborne as they are learning to pilot hover-bikes.

The craft are called Hoversurf Scorpions and were unveiled at Gitex Technology Conference, and they will give police the ability to chase down suspects without getting bogged down in traffic, as well as the look of a stormtrooper. The bikes are apparently Russian made and can carry up to 600 pounds, with top speed of 43 miles per hour. 

While this is a pretty cool development, it's not the first outlandish thing the Dubai police have done. For example, their police patrol vehicles are super cars and patrolling their mall is a robot, so all in all, this isn't really that surprising.
(Source: Unilad)

05/11/18: Reenacting Ghost and Alec Baldwin's Parking Fun

Intro

Week 12. My week off was nice. I got a load of work done, saw some family, and, most importantly, had lots of late mornings. To be honest I'd quite like to stay, but uni calls.

Lifestyle

When I saw this story for the first time, I got weird images in my head of Patrick Swayze and a vase. A British woman has claimed to have slept with 20 spirits and is engaged to another.

Amethyst realm, while on 'This Morning', told the show's presenters that her ghostly partner  popped the question on a trip to Wookey Hole Cave. According to Miss Realm, she met the spectre on a work trip to Australia, and he apparently has no name.

She also said that her friends and family have embraced her choice and she wishes to conduct a Pagan ceremony for the wedding. Apparently, the couple haven't discussed any details about the wedding but it should be 'quite a big do'.

(Source: New York Post)

Crime



Candidate for the world's most serious man award, Alec Baldwin, has been arrested. He was apparently charged with assault on Friday after an altercation in New York.

According to police, Mr Baldwin and a New York man got into an argument over a parking space. In annoyance, the actor decided to settle things with a good old fashioned right hook. The man was then taken to hospital to have his injuries treated.

The Trump impersonator has since been charged with assault and harassment, but has stated on twitter that the 'Assertion that I punched anyone over a parking spot is false'. He is set to appear in court on a later date.
(Source: CNN)


Some More Crime



Granted, this one is a few weeks old but it NEEDS to be in here. Apparently the hunt is on for a truly evil criminal: The Googly Eye Bandit.

This statue of Nathaniel Greene in Savannah was vandalised by persons unknown, with the terrible application of the dreaded googly eye. Gobsmacked by this, the City of Savannah Government took to twitter, expressing their dread and informing the public that this monstrous act is in fact a crime, as the eyes allegedly caused harm to the statue.

In truth, the culprit could face a charge of criminal trespassing and it is being treated as serious due to it being a statue of a deceased person who served in the military, and if the damage is in the excess of $500, they could be charged with a felony.
(Source: Mashable, Sky)



Music



Pharrell Williams has allegedly banned US President Donald Trump from using his music. This comes after one of the president's more cringeworthy blunders: playing Williams' 'Happy' just hours after the Pittsburgh Synagogue shooting.

In response to the song's use at the event over the weekend, Williams' lawyer sent a cease and desist letter to the President, as not only was it poorly timed but, it is also a copyright infringement, and in violation of trademark rights, as no request was made to use the song.

This is not the first time Trump has used an artist's music without consent. REM, Queen and Aerosmith have all objected to the President's use of their songs in the past, when no consent was given.
(Source: the Independent)


TV



Joe Swash has revealed the I'm a celebrity line-up for this years competition. 

In one of the unluckiest turns of events, the former Jungle King leaked possible faces to appear in the jungle to his dear old Nan. She then got talking to a random man in a supermarket queue... who happened to work for the Norfolk Gazette... and she told him everything. 

He revealed his wonder blunder on 'This Morning', and while he couldn't have possibly guessed this would happen, the presenters will now have to wait to find out the line up just like everybody else. Rumored contestants include the likes of Danny Dyer, Jamie Laing and Brendan Cole.
(Source: HeatWorld)

30/10/18: Sink or Schwimm, crime doesn't pay and Gotta Praise 'em All

Intro

Week 11. I came home this week. It's the first time in about a month or so and it's good to be back. Had a lovely takeout on my first night back. I mean, I can get takeout at uni but it's just not the same.

Crime

From Friends character to Blackpool's most wanted, David Schwimmer certainly gets around. However, it seems the actor has a doppelganger, and this time his name might not be Russ.

A thief was caught on CCTV running from a shop cradling a crate of lagers, in true Blackpool fashion, and as you can see, the pair bear a striking resemblance. Mr Schwimmer has since proved his alibi on twitter with a video, showing him spoofing his clone, stating "Officers I swear it wasn't me, as you can see I was in New York".

Both clips have since gone viral, and in an interesting turn of event, one Blackpool woman has suggested the culprit may be her son who went missing many years ago. If that's the case then it seems he's been on one hell of a break (sorry).

(Source: the Telegraph)

Gaming

Pokemon Go took the world by storm a few years ago, and still maintains a large fanbase. Since then, it seems the Vatican has tried to jump on the bandwagon with a augmented reality game of it's own.

Follow JC Go apparently took 2 years and $500,000 to develop and is currently only available in Italy and Spain. Pope Francis is reportedly a fan of the game, and while the pope hasn't watched TV in 28 years, he is very tech savvy, with an active social media.

The game works much like it's Pokemon themed counterpart, where the player walks around the world collecting various saints and biblical figure by answering various questions about them, as well as other items to top up hydration, nutrition and 'prayer count'.

This is in an effort by the Catholic Church to keep in touch with millennials, and if you take a look at most of the comments on the game's Google Play page, you'll know it doesn't seem to be going very well.
(Source: the Observer)


Business



Oh shrap(nel)! Imagine a relaxing trip to the loo when suddenly all hell breaks loose, and I'm not talking about the extra spicy burrito you had for lunch. Well, that's what has been happening to Americans recently as officials have recalled around 1.4 million flushing systems, following reports of exploding toilets.

The Consumer Product Safety Commission sent out a report regarding the Flushmate II 501-B system, which can apparently burst at or near vessel weld seams. When it does, it can do so with enough force to shatter the tank.

So far 1,500 of the systems have burst, causing $170,000 and some 23 injuries, one of which was serious enough to warrant foot surgery. This is why one should never skimp on bleach.
(Source: AJC)


Education



Hippity, hoppity, bipity, bee, this is one strange degree. A law school in India has offered prospective students a course which will take a look into the wizarding world of Harry Potter.

Shouvik Kumar Gaha, of the National University of Juridical Sciences in Kolkata, created the course which 'expects students to have read all of the books at least twice if not more'. It will also tackle more traditional law studies as well as social problems in India, such as discrimination, torture and slavery.

For example, the course will examine the way in which races such as elves, centaurs and giants are marginalised, and how the division between the country's Hindu majority and it's various minorities compares to the divide between wizards and muggles.
(Source: the Guardian)


Economy



The government has unveiled plans to create a commemorative Brexit 50p coin.

No design for the new coinage has been announced by the Treasury as of yet, however they have said it will be emblazoned with the slogan 'Friendship With All Nations', in either a fit of perfect satire or brilliant naivety (I'm not sure which is funnier).

But it seems the Treasury aren't the only ones having a laugh. Twitter has seen a variety of reactions, mocking the announcement and Brexit in general: "the only coin where no matter how many times you toss it, you always lose", "It will be due out in one year's time... Correction 2 years time... Hang on, my mistake it's a Euro."

With hopes that the new £50 will include a near naked Harry Maguire and this latest event, it seems the Treasury is trying to have some fun before the end.